It feels like it has been a long time since I could take a breath and write. Work has me busy and on my toes, a feeling that I am honestly enjoying but still trying to get used to. I can't seem to give myself the time to grieve...I use to have the time to cry but somehow I keep pushing those dark and painful feelings deeper and deeper. I know this is bad, I know I need to give my grief the time it deserves otherwise I will break apart soon. Gabriel's angelversary is in 27 days...and guess who has to work? Me. Guess who can't plan a beautiful celebration in his memory? Me. Life has been going so well since I started working....I just wish I didn't have to work on such an important day. I've been happier, I've been laughing more but above all I am able to spend most of the day socializing with people again! This has done only good things for me, or at least that's how I feel. I can finally start putting away money for our little guys headstone!! To be honest though, it breaks my heart it is taking us this long.
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