A Sisters Love

I feel terrible that I have not been able to give my blog the attention and tlc it deserves. "March Madness" quickly turned in to "March Chaos" here. Where to begin, where to begin....

On March 25th my family welcomed our newest member into the world! My nephew, Brennon, was born a healthy 5lbs 11oz and has been a blessing in all of our lives. I was lucky enough to be in the room as he came in to the world and I can't even begin to describe hearing his first cries of life.

I will admit, it was a very surreal and intimate experience not only with my family but within myself. When I got the news nothing could wipe the huge, probably really silly looking grin off my face. I practically ran to the hospital (after being forced to wait, rather impatiently, for my husband to get off a call) and wanted to kiss and hug my younger sister. After checking on her we decided to run out for a bit to grab some food.

But, let me back track for a minute here. As most of you know, Gabriel's birthday is March 29th. The night before my sisters water broke Gary and I were having a huge discussion about what we would do to honor our little one this year. An idea we decided to keep from the year before was to make a Build-A-Bear in memory of our son and then donate the bear from the year before. Well, since we loved our bear from last year to much to let it go we thought of an even better idea, why not make Brennon a bear from his heavenly cousin? So  this is what we did after we left the hospital.

My sister loved it! The bear remained wrapped in her arms for the next few hours as we all buckled down for the waiting game. Fast forward to numerous drink breaks, lots of goofing off, tons of giggles and three (yes I said THREE!!) pushes later a precious baby boy blessed the world with his presence.

I did break once. As my sister waited for the doctor and was surrounded by supportive family, I knew I had to take a moment to acknowledge the grief banging on my front door. I slipped into the empty hallway and collapsed on an uncomfortable bench. I pulled the hood from my hoodie over my tired eyes and let the tears fall. For a moment I let the pain slip over me. I let grief take my heart in its cold hands and I sobbed so hard my tears fell past my checks and hit the floor.

I was terrified. I had sent my husband home hours ago to sleep and he didn't feel awake enough to drive. I felt alone, and I didn't think I  would want it any different. It was my sisters moment and I hated the monstrous waves of grief that were trying to destroy the pure happiness I felt in my soul. I heard the door click and before I could wipe the tears I was looking into the soft eyes of my baby sister. She smiled as her eyes began to fill with tears...

She saved me in that moment. She stopped my grief in its tracks and after a shared moment of sadness we were able to chuckle  just a little. I had the strength to open that door and we both could join our sister in the birth of her son. I have never been more grateful for the love I share with my sisters.