Despite the bitter sweet moments during the holiday season, the new year has started off wonderful for Gary and I. I feel like we have started yet another chapter in our lives. A couple of weeks ago at our M.E.N.D. meeting there was a book mentioned that was called The Shack. It wasn't a major topic of discussion, more mentioned in passing. Honestly I didn't think much about it, it didn't sound like a book I would be interested in since it came across as a religious book. While cleaning up around my inlaws house (we were house sitting while they we in Rome) I happend to come across an audio book version of The Shack. It was to weird to be normal coincidence, so I thought of it as divine intervention. I popped the first disk in and spent most of that day and the next listening to the story. I haven't finished it yet since I am listening to it now with Gary but I feel like the anger I once carried towards God has started to melt away. I feel renewed in Gods love, and hopeful for a brighter future. Instead of looking for every little reminder of Gabriels death, I am focusing on remembering the beautiful nine months I had with him in my womb. Gary and I have started to say a prayer during dinner, I've even started to pray at night again. This year I made a blessings jar where I write down how God has blessed me and on New Years eve I will sit down a read through them to see the amazing and wonderful things that can happen in a year. And a week ago Garys parents helped us get a dependable car, which we have needed desperately. This year is looking up, I hope to rekindle broken friendships and live each moment the way God intends.
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