My Telescope

I can't help but day dream about how different life could be right now. I close my eyes and imagine Gabriels adorable smile, I see his beautiful eyes shinning brightly with innocence. It makes me smile to imagine him walking around in tiny shoes because let's face it, those itty bitty feet in shoes that fit in the palm of your hand is just adorable and funny all at the same time!
A few weeks ago I was talking with my grandma, she has suffered multiple losses ranging anywhere from early miscarriage to full term stillbirth. She told me to think of Gabriel and imagine looking through a telescope, even though he is far away my telescope makes it possible to see him clearly. I loved when she told me this and these last few weeks I have caught myself more than once with my feet propped up and lost in day dreams of what Gabriel looks like. Some people might consider this a sign that I'm not moving forward, or that I am postponing the inevitable truth that Gabriel is in heaven. I know he is in heaven though! And taking a few moments out of my day to just imagine how old he would be now is so wonderful. I don't cry when I think of him, I smile and see him more clearly than I ever have since his passing. It gets me through the hard times, and some days it is so vivid I feel like I am getting a sneak-peak straight into heaven.