Time for A Change

Summer break is coming quickly and I am pleased to say that I am finally getting away from this town for vacation!! It has been a very much needed break away. In about 3 weeks my husband, his family and I are all going to Florida and to Disney. This will be mine and Garys first trip out of state together. We plan to include Gabriels memory by bringing a picture of our handsome boy and having the Disney characters hold the picture when we get little family photos. I'll admit that I am a little scared to go since it will be our first trip away. It seems silly to be so worried about it...maybe it's because I'm so used to having the luxury of being able to drive to the cemetery whenever I want but on those days, I won't be able to.
A couple weeks after we get home from Florida I go by myself to Oregon for a month. My moms side of the family lives there and it has always been a safe haven for me, a place of spiritual growth even. I stay in this small town where you can literally walk anywhere, and the nature is absolutely gorgeous. I think it will be a good thing for me. As much as my family at home tries to be sympathetic and help me through my grief, they can only do so much. Both my grandmother and aunt in Oregon have had losses in their life, and I think being able to talk through the difficult times at the moment they are happening will help me to heal. I always seem to come back as a stronger and better person. Something about being there helps me grow in ways I can't while I'm home surrounded by the drama.
I have also decided to go to college when I get back. I have already filled out my paperwork and I am just waiting to be accepted! I feel it is time to start doing thingss with my life. I have survived the first year, I can't let my life waste away while I lay cooped up in the house. I want to make Gabriel proud, I want to someday go to heaven and tell him about all the things he inspired me to do!