Dear Gabriel

Dearest Gabriel,
I lay awake tonight hoping for a sign that you are safe in heaven. I wish so much that you would come see me in my dreams...I want to see your bright eyes and sweet smile. As we approach your first birthday, I wonder how handsome you would be now. What words would you be speaking? What kind of theme would we have for your birthday? I miss feeling you growing inside me, and I especially miss the sound of your strong little heart beat. Lately it seems like people want me to "get over" losing you...to them, your death is old news but that doesn't make you any less of my son. As silly as this sounds, I feel like I am grieving all wrong. I don't know what I should do to honor you anymore. Any sign would be so welcomed! Daddy misses and loves you so very much too. We get to go to Disney later this year and we plan to bring a picture of you so we can get pictures of all three of us with our favorite characters! It won't be the same as it would be if you were there...but maybe including you will make it just a little more fun. I am sending so many hugs and kisses to you right now!
All my love,
Mommy