October 6,2013
Until recently my ritual was spending one day a month (on the 29th) buying flowers and little toys to bring out to Gabriel. We called them his "monthly birthdays". It helped me for a long time, but recently it has brought me more pain than comfort. I don't really have any kind of rituals right now. I know this is my second year participating in the Capture Your Grief project, which in a way, I feel is a yearly ritual. I know that on October 15th I will be lighting a candle in baby Gabe's memory, and I will be going to both the M.E.N.D. balloon release and Christmas candle light ceremony again this year. I guess recently my greatest way to remember Gabriel is by living each day as happy as I can. I've spent so long being sad and hurting that even after a hard day I try to start the next day with a smile and a clean slate. So far, surprisingly, it is really working for me!
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