Just One of Those Days

Today is turning out to be an extremely emotional day. My husband bought me flowers the other day, beautiful roses, and since I had a chance to enjoy them for a couple days I wanted to bring them to Gabriel's grave for him too. We showed up at the cemetery to find that all the beautiful things placed near the graves of the babies were gone. I was in shock, the pinwheels we had placed, the white roses we had left before, the fake flowers he had...they were all gone. I could see the anger rising in Gary as he jumped out of the truck and went to look at all the graves...everything was gone. He grabbed his phone, calling the cemetery office. It turns out that anything not attached to the headstone is considered in the way of the mowing so it will be removed. We asked for a mowing schedule but they said they didn't have one...I kept imagining all the pretty flowers and trinkets now in the trash. My tears fell, hot and heavy, as we drove home mostly in silence. It isn't fair! I can understand that the grass needs mowed but is it so difficult to put it back? Or to set it on the ledge near the graves for people to come back and put it up themselves? I buy things for Gabriel. In my opinion, me leaving things that mean something is an expression of my love for my son. No one should just be allowed to take it and toss it in the trash! I was looking at the rules and made sure not to break any of them, yet everything is still gone. His grave is bare again. I'm so upset about it but I know there is nothing I can do. To make matters worse, I had made a photo book on walmart.com of my favorite pictures of Gabriel. I knew it had been shipped and was supposed to be arriving in the mail. I came home today, finding the package and ripping it open in excitement...the cover was of our little family, just as I had wanted it to be. When I opened the first page though, it was filled with the pictures of another family! At this point the only thing I could do was laugh it off, even though on the inside I was more than a little upset. I hope today gets better....