Thanksgiving

It would seem to me that I have survived the first holiday yet without my precious Gabriel. This year I was quite content to be in a quiet atmosphere, it was only me, my mom, Clyde, and Gary. Since I had stayed up the night before I was extremely exhausted, but in the morning I witnessed a beautiful sunrise. I took it as a sign from Gabriel, a marvelous painting in the sky to let me know he was with me. I thought everything would be okay, I knew I could be strong and I was determined to be strong....that didn't last long. Less than an hour after watching the sunrise it all sank in, there would be no house to house shuffle with the baby, no giggles of laughter, no sleeping drool on Daddys shirt. In an instant the tears began to fall, big wet tears. I felt vulnerable, devastated even and my heart ached with pain like those first moments I found out he was gone. I almost cancelled going to my moms, all I wanted was to crawl under the blankets and escape the world.
I ended up dozing off and on at my moms house, it was so peaceful. We ate amazing and delicious food and for once I didn't gorge myself. When Gary and I finally came home I was more than ready to spend the night sleeping away reality. I miss my Gabriel so much, I love him more than I thought I could ever love another person...