Lately I have been taking up praying again, nothing fancy or religion specific, just a few words to God before I fall asleep. I ask him to watch over my family and friends, to keep them safe and protect them. I have even found myself saying thanks for the blessings I do have, even with my built up anger at losing Gabriel it amazes me that a part of me is still alive to be thankful. I always end my prayer with asking God to give Gabriel a big hug and kiss from me and tell him that I love him. My prayer is short, sweet and simple.
I often wonder where I will be with my relationship with God by the end of this first year, I struggle very very much to believe in a heaven...I was never raised to believe in it or not to, I guess it was just expected that I would. I want to imagine Gabriel free though, beautiful and free! I want to think he is waiting for me, watching over me and his family...I want to believe that someday I will see him again. As Gary and I came home from my moms house I looked up at the beautiful early morning sky, it was still so dark and I could see bright stars. There is one star inparticular that I imagine is "Gabriel's Star". It isn't the biggest or the brightest but instead sparkles like a diamond, oh how I love that star!
I have plans to hopefully go see him later today when I wake up, Gary stopped by yesterday before work and surprisingly something we had left out there with him was still there even after the grass had been mowed! Gary was thrilled :)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please be respectful when leaving comments.