Early yesterday morning I had another break down. I was laying in bed and happen to look at a picture of me sleeping with Gabriel on my chest. Out of no where the pain began to crush me, I didn't want to be the girl in that picture. The tears fell hard and heavy, Gary woke again to hold me and all I could think is "I am a mommy, he is a daddy..." I repeated it over and over in my mind, hoping it would stick.
Here we are now, it is almost four in the morning and Gabriel's six month birthday. I am scared of today....actually, I am terrified. I feel so vulnerable, so lost. I keep waiting for the next thing that will send me flying over the edge, it seems like I can never balance it all. Gary works for most of the day, oh how I wish he didn't have to go in!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please be respectful when leaving comments.