Today I watched a bird flying, it spread its wings so beautifully and glided through the air with elegance. It made me think of Gabriel, free....
The days are getting harder, even with my medication I feel very alone and lost without my boy. I wanted to lay with him this evening but the ground was wet from all the rain still. There is a part of me unwilling to accept this, well, I guess all of me is unwilling to accept this. I realize I am still in shock that he isn't here, the realization is far to painful to bear.
People want us to move on, to get on with our lives and accept that Gabriel is gone...even family has said this. I wonder, for a moment, if any of them every lost their child....would they be over it in a mere five months? If they lost their baby, would they not cry or dwell like I do? If their heart was ripped from their chest would they still be standing to face each and every day just as happy as they were before everything fell apart? I think not. I wish more people would keep their opinions to themselves, I know Gary and I don't care to hear how others feel about the way we grieve. Gabriel is OUR SON and we will honor his short life and grieve OUR WAY. Gabriel was a very wanted and very loved child, we are not only mourning the loss of such a precious soul but a future that we will never have with our son. He is our first born, and he will always be a part of our family. We will celebrate him in our daily lives as well as holidays, our future children will know of him and come out to his grave with us. We will hang pictures of him in our house, we will not forget him. If people are uncomfortable with how we handle things, well I'm sorry but the fact of the matter is...he is our baby and no one is forcing anyone to be a part of how we celebrate him.
The days are getting harder, even with my medication I feel very alone and lost without my boy. I wanted to lay with him this evening but the ground was wet from all the rain still. There is a part of me unwilling to accept this, well, I guess all of me is unwilling to accept this. I realize I am still in shock that he isn't here, the realization is far to painful to bear.
People want us to move on, to get on with our lives and accept that Gabriel is gone...even family has said this. I wonder, for a moment, if any of them every lost their child....would they be over it in a mere five months? If they lost their baby, would they not cry or dwell like I do? If their heart was ripped from their chest would they still be standing to face each and every day just as happy as they were before everything fell apart? I think not. I wish more people would keep their opinions to themselves, I know Gary and I don't care to hear how others feel about the way we grieve. Gabriel is OUR SON and we will honor his short life and grieve OUR WAY. Gabriel was a very wanted and very loved child, we are not only mourning the loss of such a precious soul but a future that we will never have with our son. He is our first born, and he will always be a part of our family. We will celebrate him in our daily lives as well as holidays, our future children will know of him and come out to his grave with us. We will hang pictures of him in our house, we will not forget him. If people are uncomfortable with how we handle things, well I'm sorry but the fact of the matter is...he is our baby and no one is forcing anyone to be a part of how we celebrate him.
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