Pictures

Tonight I laid in bed for a while looking at pictures of Gabriel on my phone. My mind can't seem to wrap around everything that has happend since March.
Gary joined me in our room, he snuggled next to me as we both just stared at our son. His voice cracked as he said how much he missed Gabriel, inside I was breaking too. I whispered how I missed our son and then the tears fell from my eyes, they weren't angry but sad and painful. I wished with all my heart I could go back in time, maybe spend more time singing to Gabriel or letting Gary just read Star Wars every night. I missed his strong kicks and long episodes of hiccups that would shake my tummy. I missed his little personality, if I was spending the night with my mom and sisters, Gabriel would just wait and wait for his daddy to talk to him before bed. If he didn't hear Gary he would be so upset and just kick me like crazy! He always perked up when he heard Gary's voice, he was such a daddy's boy.
As we looked at those pictures though, Gary's eyes began to water. He isn't a very emotional man, but I have seen him cry more times since Gabriels passing than in our almost 6 years of being together. I cherish these moments though, we will just lay together and hold on to each other like the world is falling apart around us. We will wipe each others tears and just let everything fall in the tears from our eyes.