Capture Your Grief, Day Twenty Eight

Day 28: Memory
October 28,2012

I have so many memories, many beautiful and many not so beautiful. It is hard to pick just one so I will write about more than one today.

For Halloween last year Gary and I got the sweetest treat. Even though I had heard Gabriels heartbeat with my mom already, Gary still hadn't. Thankfully, our little one cooperated and Gary finally got to hear his sons beating heart! I will never forget the huge grin that spread from ear to ear, he was absolutely full of pride and love which was clearly on his face.

For Thanksgiving we had our ultrasound to determine if we were having a boy or girl, it was the day before of course. A boy! A beautiful baby boy!

For Christmas we imagined our holiday traditions we would start with Gabriel. We thought of our own home filled with the smell of cookies, the joy Gabriel would have when we played up beat Christmas songs. His first time playing in the snow was a big one for me, I couldn't wait to take him sledding with his daddy! I wanted to sing him my favorite church hymns as I rocked him to sleep every night. Early in December was also the first time we felt him kick, he was so strong and Gary about jumped out of his skin with joy!

Every time we would go to my dads for dinner my little brother would run up to me and wrap one arm above my tummy and the other below it. He would say he was giving Gabriel a big hug.

I spent every other weekend over at my moms house with my sisters. We would all laugh and joke and get on each others nerves only to be laughing again shortly afterwards. I loved time over there! One night Gabriel was moving and I had Jaci come over and feel my tummy. He softly kicked her hand and I saw her eyes light up with love and awe, it was such a precious moment.

For my birthday Jaci made a ton of burp rags from old pajamas she had. It was all done on her brand new sewing machine which was so sweet. I keep them with all of the clothes we had received for Gabriel so I will have them to pass down.

Sami finally felt him move too! He seemed to enjoy being a ninja when she was around and her eyes were so wide with shock and joy.

I have tons of memories with Gary too, his sister made Gabriel a beautiful blanket that I sleep with sometimes. We can't wait to pass it down to a younger sibling!

Gary loved to read Gabriel Star Wars. It was amazing to see how crazy he would get just with the sound of Garys voice, he was such a daddy's boy!